Agata Gargamella

 In Casini, Praga

Massì che la temperatura è gradevole e poi il Kosta è anche meno molesto e andiamo a ‘sto mega festonecenone che c’era da mangiare anche checcazzoneso, in questo gruppone italiano che s’è sistemato a Praga come un verme in una fiorentina e, a parte i camerieri e le camerierine che fanno sempre tanto sogno erotico, si parlava italiano.

E giù bevi, lei è Agata la moglie di quell’avucat, ma sì dai Tazio, quello che assomiglia a Gargamella e questa, che anche se i 50 li ha superati nonostante l’autovelox, è ancora carnazza fichea e beve, beve, beve, cristodegliabissi se beve e che coglioni perché mi si è azzeccata e da sbronza marcia pretende di parlarmi di Sarcazzo, ma nel dettaglio, finchè alla mezzanotte e quarantadue santa, mi dice un po’ pastosa “Mi porti in albergo?” che io dico, con ‘sta flotta di ex fucilieri cecoslovacchi, ma va beh, Gargamella, la fava, la rava, porto io, tranzolla.

E la strascino come un sacco nero della monnezza fino alla sua camera dove la arrotolo su una specie di sofà, lei si descarpa e mi dice “Ai, azi, imo ischi taf” che credo volesse dire “Dai Tazio, ultimo whisky della staffa” che puntava il carrello e io verso, che chissà che muoia, passo il bicchiere, cinz, cinz, uno svuotone e poi col ditino mi fa di avvicinarmi e mi dice, già più articolata nella pronunzia: “Sono senza mutande, leccamela” e spalanca la coscia ignuda a svelare un mucchiettino di carnina implume tutta strafugnata, che si affretta a tendere con ambedue le geronzie mani, abbandonandosi sul canapè.

E io, figli della greca Troia, mi sono addressato e ho perpetrato con passione, innalzando con commovente progressione il livello di mugolii/muggiti fino a quando, sanpancrazio da villafontazza, ho sfoderato la Tronca Minchiea innestandogliela nella marza marza (molto tecnica questa) per procedere solerte a una copula industriale, senza liquidi di raffreddamento, a ferro, fiamme, urli e venute, esortato da un’indemoniata a venirle dentro con la voce di Misery, presto fatto, accontentata, fine.

“Lo sai che potrei dire che mi ha stuprata?” – dice senza rivestirsi mentre io mi rismokinavo.
“Ho dentro la tua sborra e mi sono anche graffiata apposta” – molliccia di pronunzia, ma ben comprensibile.
“Sai, qui i cechi non son mica come i nostri eh? Se li paghi massacrano chi vuoi”.
Pausa dondolante, sigaretta pendula.
“E poi Gargamella ti fa tagliare i coglioni….” E ride.

“Vedi tu se scomparire bello…” e ride.
Io no, però.
Mi viene accordato il permesso e torno al mio albergo.

Mavaffanculo cazzomerda.
Bello qui, però, temperatura gradevole.

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      So people who have a McCain/Palin sticker on their cars are racists? Man! How bigoted is that comment? Why is everything about race to a liberal? Why do you have to paint everybody with the same hateful brush? Give it up. Obama won. Get on with your life while you can before the liberals drain you dry. Can’t you think of anything original or even thoughtful to say?Melvin Jones

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